By Tim Blaylock, CPO, Boys & Girls Clubs of Greater Oxnard, Port Hueneme
June 14, 2006

I believe that things happen in our lives for a reason, and it starts by doing good for others.

Consider the true story of a poor boy going door-to-door, selling whatever he could to pay his way through school. One day, he realized that he was hungry but had only a dime to his name. He decided that he would ask for a meal at the next house. However, he lost his courage when a young girl opened the door.

Instead of the meal, he asked for a drink of water. She thought that he looked hungry, so she brought him a large glass of milk.

He drank it slowly, then asked, "How much do I owe you?"

"You don't owe me anything," she replied. "My father has taught us never to accept pay for a kindness."

When Howard Kelly left that house, he felt stronger physically, and his faith was stronger, too. He had been ready to give up and quit.

Several years later, that same girl, by then an adult, became very ill. Kelly, a well-known physician who in 1885 founded the Kelly Gynecologic Oncology Service at Johns Hopkins University, was called in for a patient consultation.

Kelly recognized the woman as soon as he entered the room. Determined to do his best to save her life, he gave special attention to her case.

After a long, challenging struggle, the woman won the battle. Kelly asked the business office to pass the final bill on to him for approval. He wrote something on the edge, then mailed the bill to the woman. She was afraid to open it because she was sure that it would take the rest of her life to pay it, but she looked at the bill and read Kelly's note: "Paid in full with one glass of milk."

So what do our children need to succeed in life, in work, as future parents and as community members?

They need long-term relationships with many positive adult role models, schools, churches, Boys & Girls clubs, opportunities to serve, and a community of people and places that value youths. These are among the building blocks of successful development that the Search Institute calls "40 developmental assets."

Research shows that the more assets young people have, the more likely they are to succeed academically and the less likely they are to engage in high-risk behaviors. Yet across the U.S. — in big and small cities — most young people now experience fewer than half of the 40 developmental assets.

The great thing about assets is that they're easy; they're not a new program or philosophy. Asset building is about relationships, and anybody can do it. You can make a difference and help a young person succeed.

Here are 10 ways to build assets and let kids in your neighborhood know that you care (excerpted from Jolene Roehlkepartain's "150 Ways to Show Kids You Care," Search Institute; 1998):

• Notice them.
• Ask them about themselves.
• Be yourself.
• Introduce them to new experiences.
• Catch them doing something right.
• Laugh at their jokes.
• Hug them.
• Be available.
• Build something together.
• Love them, no matter what.

Take the time to get to know the kids in your neighborhood, church, school, mall and on the street. Set the example for other adults. Let's start a revolution so that 10 or 20 years from now, we have our own Dr. Kellys to celebrate.

To contact a club in your area:

Boys & Girls Club of Camarillo, 482-8113, http://www.bgccam.org/

Boys & Girls Clubs of Conejo & Las Virgenes, 1-818-880-8577, http://www.bgcconejo.org

Boys & Girls Clubs of Greater Oxnard and Port Hueneme, 815-4959, http://www.positiveplace4kids.org

Boys & Girls Club of Moorpark, 529-1140.

Boys & Girls Club of the Santa Clara Valley, 525-7910, http://www.sphs.net/bgc

Boys & Girls Club of Simi Valley, 527-4437, http://www.bgcsimi.com

Boys & Girls Club of Ventura, 641-5585. http://www.bgclubventura.org